I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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