Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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