He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
