That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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