yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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