I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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