i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
