How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
