Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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