Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
