I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
