I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
