By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
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chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
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hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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