Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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