and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
