In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
