my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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