He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
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I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize