Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
