we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
i out mim tonsoeep
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