Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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