Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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