Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
