we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
