Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
