that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize