Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
where am i from again
farters have to be the big spoon...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
