I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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