I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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