What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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