her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
