you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
