I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize