I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize