Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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