I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
this hospital has no fireball
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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