no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
