Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
