I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize