So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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