Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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