I got chris browned last night
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
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and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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