I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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