thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
