So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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