ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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