I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
