Is it normal to miss your booty call?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
