I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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