whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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