i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
