fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
