How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize