so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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