Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
