So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Every concussion has its silver lining
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
