Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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