apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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