DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
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So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
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Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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